I’ll never forget that night on my sofa. It was almost 1:00 in the morning and I was still wide awake thinking, meditating, and worshiping. I had become so hungry for God and His presence that staying up late to worship was the norm. I was used to staying up late every night. I was used to spending hours praying and worshiping. This was just something that I was used to. But this particular night something different happened. Something that I wasn’t expecting. Something that I had never experienced before. I worshiped like I normally do but this time when I worshiped my worship produced the greatest manifestation of love that I had ever experienced before. Love that was simply overwhelming. Love that was unfailing. Love that was unconditional. Love that was everlasting. Love that looked pass my brokenness and saw pass my pain. Love that refused to see me for who I was and chose to see me for who I would become. Love that wasn’t afraid of my sin or distracted by my mistakes. Love that came to transform and deliver! For the longest time I was convinced that I knew what love was. I thought love was flowers and candy. I thought love was kisses and hearts. I didn’t understand that if it didn’t transform, heal, or deliver that it wasn’t really love at all.
That night on my sofa the Lord introduced me to His love. Real love. Just by graciously deciding to shield me with His presence, He showed me the power of real love. He showed me that real love, when accepted, is more powerful than addiction. He showed me that real love, when accepted, is more powerful than lust. He showed me that real love, when accepted, is more powerful than depression and suicidal thoughts. He showed me that real love, when accepted, is more powerful than anxiety. That night on my sofa He showed me that real love, when accepted, can rescue me. He showed me that real love, His love, had the power to heal me.
There I was someone who was still struggling to overcome depression, someone who was still struggling to love myself, and someone who was still struggling to overcome the shame of being an ex sex addict, yet, instead of bashing me or turning His back on me, He chose to LOVE me! And that alone was enough to set me free! I just knew that I couldn’t go back to being who I was before that night because love had affirmed me, lifted me, and completely transformed me!
As I look back on that moment in my life I’m reminded of a story found in the book of Luke Chapter 7 verse 37. There was a sinful woman who had heard that Jesus was in town so she made her way to Jesus with an alabaster box filled with expensive perfume. The perfume would be given to Jesus as an offering and an act of repentance. When the disciples saw this they began to questioned why Jesus would have such interaction with a sinful woman, and they began to bring up the woman’s dirty past. However, Jesus’ response to the woman was much different than that of the disciples. Instead of turning the woman away because of her past failures and mistakes Jesus loved and embraced her! He accepted her repentance. He introduced her to the power of redemption. He introduced her to the transformational power of real love. He crowned her with glory and honor.
I believe that the same way Jesus loved and embraced the Luke 7:37 woman is the same way that He’s longing to love and embrace you! Inspite of your failures and mistakes the Savior saw you as valuable enough and worthy enough to die for. He calls you victorious. He calls you overcomer. He calls you healed. He calls you free. He calls you delivered. He calls you transformed!
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